So much has happened....

The last several months have pretty much been a nightmare. I wrote about it on my regular life blog [here] a month ago. Lets just say that it hasn't gotten better since then.

I went to the doctor again on Monday and now she wants to check and see if I have endometriosis as well. The problem is, the only way to diagnose endo is through laparoscopic surgery. According to the surgery scheduler at my doctor's office this is a surgery that is going to cost "way over $3000" ($3k being used as the example since that is how much share-of-cost medicaid's share-of-cost would potentially be if I had it). With all the costs considered I'm expecting it to be somewhere between $10-30K depending on if I have to stay over night and how long the surgery takes. This is of course a huge problem since I have been out of work for months and won't be going to school this semester, thus cutting our income by over half.


The good news is if I do have endo, the surgery will turn from exploratory to.... the other term that I can't remember. That way the surgery won't only be used to diagnose me but also to clean the endo out. I also plan to let my doctor know that depending on how bad it is, and whether it looks like my infertility will be even worse (due to tube blocking or scaring), to go ahead and perform a hysterectomy while she's in there. It pains me deeply to think of that happening, but I just don't see the point in keeping my reproductive organs if I wouldn't even be able to use them to reproduce. Having them in there now is basically disabling me, so keeping them is like giving up my life now for some teensy tiny hope of biological children in the future. Even if they clean the endo out entirely it will reoccur in as little as one year which just means more pain and more surgeries. 


If I don't have endo then I don't know what the next step is. I suppose just continuing on the way we are until I give up and ask for a hysterectomy or get to a place financially where we can TTC. For many reasons including this my DH has decided to drop down to half time at school (and those classes online) so he can peruse a full time job. We are also looking into other roommate opportunities but it seems that would likely cause us to move. We don't really know where we're going right now and it just sucks.


As far as my weight goes, I've apparently lost 23 pounds since I went to the doctor three months ago. I had pretty much given up on my weight before that because we just can't afford to have the kind of diet I need so I was back up to 195. Now I'm at 172, which means I am just "overweight" and not "obese"! The weird thing is I can't even tell. I actually expected to be told I was over 200 since I feel so bloated and my clothes fit worse than they did. I pretty much live in my nighties at home, and leggings if I go out, since my other pants are now uncomfortable. Hopefully this surgery will reduce some of the bloating and I will actually be able to tell I've lost weight lol.

A Surprising Diagnosis

As I was sitting there in the stirrups in my OBGYN's office, I heard her say something I didn't think I would ever hear:

"You're endometrial lining is too thin."

Apparently, unlike normal, I haven't had AF show simply because there is nothing there to shed. She said this could be because it has been less than a year since my last Depo shot. If it doesn't start growing normally by July we can look into why.

She again confirmed the small cysts that are the tell-tale sign of PCOS. Yippee.

I'm to take Provera for the next 13 days, but I may or may not bleed afterwards. If I don't get my period in the 45 days after I finish my provera I am to call and get a new prescription.

Lather, rinse, repeat.